Welcome @Vitreousbody! Well, it's just like Mendingmysoul and Rohag have already wisely and wonderfully said! You've been able to accomplish A LOT despite your struggles so please be kind to yourself for that and be proud of yourself for that! You deserve it! Definitely seek the help of a Therapist you can. You DID mature throughout your years. You're just struggling right now but that doesn't mean that you DIDN'T improve as a person! So please, keep working on yourself like you're already WONDERFULLY doing! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME if you need someone to talk to or vent to or if you need advice and support! I am SURE plenty of others will ALSO KINDLY, GLADLY, WISELY and WONDERFULLY help you out as well! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Vitreousbody, your Family, your Friends, your Girlfriend, your Relatives, ALL of the people you Love and care about who ALSO Love you back and care about you as well and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking, my dear, sweet friend! I am SO SORRY that you're struggling!