Honestly, it's not at all unusual for partners to struggle at first, even if it's just with jealousy and not anxiety. If I have some techniques to use I hope I can get through this. The thing is the same abandonment issues I have would affect our relationship even if we were monogamous and that worries me as I think it could lead to controlling and suspicious behaviour over time, I would rather root them out now even if it hurts for a while the hurt will diminish I hope. I know I may find my hopes are not correct, as a depressive it's easy for me to look at the negatives, but I fight that tendency too so why should I not also fight my other limitations - I do not want either of us to be held back by them. I have a lot of will power and have become a pretty resilient and adaptable person over time as I have had to be - my traumas don't determine me and I am far more than them.