Hi, Knitting27, and welcome to psych central! You mentioned you had a therapist - I'd recommend that you print out your post, and take it to them. Sounds like a great jumping off point, to begin discussion with them. From my perspective, you did an excellent job in spelling out issues that are troubling you - and a good therapist can help you untangle and decipher what's going on.

You were asking specifically about splitting - and expressed concerns that what splitting is, doesn't seem to fit you. I'm not sure what you are thinking of, when you think of "splitting". From what you described, it sounds more like what I would call "attachment issues" - and either way, could or might not be BPD related. It's not uncommon for those of us with BPD to have other issues, also (like your OCD, my PTSD, etc.) - so unraveling what is causing what, and what therapy is best for this or that, is definitely where professional help comes into play!

One thing to keep in mind, with ANY diagnosis, or potential diagnosis, is,.....you don't have to have every single symptom, to have the condition. As my therapist likes to put it, conditions are on a "spectrum". Some are low level, some people are high level. What's important is where YOU are, and what help will benefit you. One common thing about BPD, I'm constantly seeing is, learning as much about it as possible, from reputable sources, will help you. So in addition to discussing your post with your therapist, I would also recommend checking out those links Skeezyks listed. Good luck on your journey, and again, welcome!