Qwerty,
You really are enduring so, so much. I understand how depressing it is to have serious medical issues including pain because of what I endured when I first got out of the hospital after I harmed myself. I was on pain meds every 3-4 hours (Percocet and Oxycotin) then released to an inpatient mental hospital where they took it away cold turkey. I was in so much pain. It was cruel but I didn't complain because I was terrified that they would deem me mentally incompetent. Sadists for sure!!! Other people around me were suffering as well.
I am lucky things mostly healed (though I am not as physically strong as I was before that self harm) and I can still walk. Walking (and running when I was younger) has always been an essential element to keeping my depression at bay. My heart breaks that you are dealing with so many issues.
When she said, "She claims I am the best and most patient man in the world, she even said that just days before disappearing, clearly that is a lie but it seems strange that she would do this after saying that."--It probably wasn't a lie. My guess is that she her feelings were genuine but she found someone else. When it became serious between my husband and me, I stopped dating other people. I am afraid I did not give them much explanation. Now that I have read on here how much it hurts to be dumped without explanation--I now know I should have talked to one boy. Because of my anxiety and fear of losing my H, I was afraid to talk to him at all.
My husband says that some of the things our kids do are not our fault. They are their own people with their own personality that they were born with. Some of their choices are completely their own. I now understand how right he was! Please don't blame yourself for your kid's bad behavior. That is our depression and anxiety playing tricks on us!! We were both very, very good parents! Take care of yourself Qwerty! PM me on your birthday and tell me how old you are.