I am sorry you feel this way.

I have had a few pdocs/tdocs in my lifetime, 4 to be exact. I was fortunate enough to have 4 that were pdocs and were also my tdoc.
With 3 of 4, I was sure, very sure, that we would never get along, would never connect, etc. This continued for 6-8 meetings. In each case, I had gotten over my pre-judgement and was able to see that each was truly outstanding and we were doing some good work together. I had continued one with each one for quite some time and was very saddened to lose them later on. One of the pdocs I was sure I could not work with turned out to be my favorite and we ended up working together for 20 years!

So we never know how things will go based upon our first meeting.

One thing I have learned is that if a pdoc/tdoc says something with which I disagree, I do say so. I think it is important. Sharing and being honest about things is the best way, the healthiest way to build a relationship with anyone. It is safe, I hope, to practice our relationship skills with our pdocs/tdocs. That said, we are apt to make the same relationship mistakes we make in everyday life with our pdocs/tdocs. Therapy is a place to recognize our patterns and to work on getting as healthy as possible.

I don't mean to devalue your experience, MM. I can relate. I had come out of pdoc and tdoc offices many times convinced the relationship was futile even before we had really gotten to know one another more. I then recalled that I do not like it or think it is fair if someone pre-judges me. Thus, I had to recognize that I had to offer them the same courtesy.

I know you have had a tough time with therapists. I am sorry this is the case. I hope this will be a much healthier relationship for you!