HI!
Welcome to the PC Bipolar forum.

I am sorry for all you go through. Do you see a trauma therapist?

You might or might not get more responses at the PTSD forum. If responses fall short here, you might want to consider copying and pasting your initial post in a trauma-related forum?

I do hope you are seeing a therapist trained specifically in trauma. Sometimes, it is not possible. I hope you are involved with a therapist who understands and who supports you well.

I hope you can find a place of deep inner peace. I remain hopeful for your healing