I’m glad for you that you are seeing this for what it is. You are not getting caught up in it or fighting with her. It feels awful to not really be seen, heard and appreciated by your mother to your face. I’m glad to hear she at least boasts about you to others. That’s better than getting bad mouthed because you’ve argued with her.

You just have to maintain a balance of communication amount you can handle and separation.

When my mother went on about all the painful drama about my deceased father who was no longer there to defend himself, I had no reason to disbelieve her until many years and disappointment played out between her and me. Save yourself that poisonous experience.