Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
I don't know what I can say. I don't want to lose you and I hate that you're hurting. More so that I can't stop it for you.
I'm here. I'm always here, qwerty.
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I am very sorry for dragging you into my bs in PC, I just wanted to tell you how awesome you are, but you don't deserve - nor does anyone else - to listen to my pathetic whining. After a day of lots of benzos(I did not try to OD on them, yet), walking for half the night was probably not the best idea.
It really doesn't matter what happens to me, I think I wanted this even when pursuing her. I knew the odds off succeeding with her were very long and I knew she would likely be the end of me. I knew this last winter and she gave me lots of chances to walk away but I could not.
One of the times she tried to pull away she even apologized for giving hope to the hopeless and she knew that was cruel but she insisted that she wants(wanted?) it to happen. One constant is that women enjoy tearing me to pieces, especially the ones that claim to care for me. I guess that is what being stupid and thinking that I should have even an ounce of happiness causes.
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PDD with Psychotic Features, GAD, Cluster C personality traits - No meds, except a weekly ketamine infusion