Hi Crook. I feel reluctant to say whether or not you should resent your spouse or even vice versa. First, that would be wrong for a relative stranger like me to say. Second, I don't know your full situation, and even if I did, it wouldn't be any of my business. What I will say is that you probably (or certainly) should get your wife to join you in therapy. If you (or she) think that your therapist is too one-sided, then perhaps a different therapist, just for couples, would be in order.

If you plan to spend some time not working, you might consider applying for SSDI, if your pdoc/tdoc would support that. Monthly payments are obviously not comparable to full-time work, but they help pay bills. You paid into the system all of these years, that's what it's there for. Then, if you want to and are fully able to work part-time again, there are ways to maintain the SSDI during a trial part-time work period. Something to consider. Without my SSDI, my husband and I would never have been able to remain where we are. Actually, my dear hubby has had to take on extra consulting work beyond his day job to make ends meet. He does not resent me for having to do that. I absolutely appreciate him for his loving understanding of my situation. I do try to do as much as I'm able to make his life easier, while at home.

I am now volunteering for NAMI a couple hours per week, plus plan to help them with little other things when needed. I am excited about it. I don't know what the offerings are at your local NAMI, but mine offers a Family to Family program (a free 12-session educational program for family members offered seasonally), as well as Intensive Family Support Services with social workers that can talk to family members about the issues of their loved one's mental illness. Perhaps that might interest you and/or your wife. Of course they also offer Connection support groups for people with mental illness, like you and me.

My husband has never expressed resentment towards me for being on disability. I do know that these years have been hard for him, though. I try to do as much as I can to make them easier, despite my disability. He wants to move back to Europe to have a better retirement. Deep down I'd rather stay in my home state in the US. I will make the move, because it makes sense and I want him to retire sooner than later. You know that it's a give and take in marriage, with sometimes being more "give" and other times more "take".