So I know what it's like to have that new exciting relationship go awry. What I will tell is, it will turn out to be good it did, trust me. It will take to put it all good again but you will. You've already jumped the first hurdle by admitting you still want your wife, and in the end that a good thing. Some women want things, but once they get them they don't want them anymore, and guys too. Just hang in there, you'll get over the hurt, and you'll understand what makes a marriage better. Go out on dates, act more like you guys were when dating. Shoot, go parking with your wife sometime might be fun. It appears you need some spice, and your wife appears towant/need it too, so spice it up. Good luck, hugs to you and your wife.