Hi Spikes, I understand those same thoughts. I thought once I had that would be enough. But it wasn't. I still felt like I hadn't hurt myself enough, that I deserved more hurt. I don't know where these thoughts come from, or a good way to combat them. I try to practice self care and self compassion on days when I'm not self harming. It hopefully will build up the strength in reserve that I need, but IDK if it will work. I'm struggling myself too today so I'm babbling. I just want you to know you aren't alone. I have those same thoughts. And it sucks. HUGS Kit