I really believe you’ll find the right T for you, LT. I don’t know exactly how to put this into words, but I feel what you want and need is not so complicated as it has been made to seem. You want a t who will care about you and tell you that they care. That’s not a lot to ask and to me, doesn’t indicate that you’re asking for more and more and won’t be satisfied. I think the only reason you asked for certain acts from ex dr. T was because he wouldn’t just say the damn words even though he did care.

I am also one to want reassurance that my T cares. He has told me many times that he does, and also shows it in different ways. He would never hesitate to say it, like if I asked him “do you care about me?” He would say “yes” and elaborate, and then he’d ask the questions about why I asked and all that good stuff. To refuse to answer just feels like playing some sort of weird power struggle game and doesn’t seem therapeutic. There are many times my t says things that could be taken 2 ways—one way indicating he cares and the other way indicating he doesn’t—and during those times, I am able to reassure myself that he meant it in a good way and still cares. But I’m only able to provide myself with that reassurance because he so willingly expresses his care at other times and doesn’t hold back just because he can. I know if I ask him he will tell me what he feels, and therefore I don’t feel the constant need to ask him for proof. Idk if any of this made sense.. I feel like I had a specific concept or thought in my mind but couldn’t word it properly.