LT, have you considered taking a break from therapy altogether? Not seeing any for a while? I kinda agree with the comment above that you seem to have relational trauma from therapy and therapists; maybe it started somewhere in your childhood but it's just accumulating with the Ts you choose. It all seems incredibly stressful. If anything sounds being trapped, that is... in my view at least. Stopping it and resolving it may or may never come from therapy - you can easily spend your life "trapped" in all this, going to therapy, from T to T, and your negative impulses and coping methods will not go away. Or you could decide to take a few months away from all these things, at least in practical reality (I doubt you would stop thinking about it anytime soon, but maybe with time) - see how that goes. At least then you would really attempt to change something. This way, just finding yet another T (however different they might turn out, each one is different)... on top other older men who, you know, are your sore spot... I don't know.

There have been a few people on this forum who reported very painful, obsessive, unsatisfying, traumatic experiences with therapists and then tremendous relief when they could finally break free from the whole thing. There have also been some who reported a painful experience with one bad T and relief/resolution with another, better one. The thing is, you seem to get a lot of stress and never real satisfaction from your therapy experiences, at least the ones you talked about on PC. It is more than just one T, one person. You might think now I am suggesting the same as Dr T, that you will keep ending up in a form of the same... and maybe I am. I think no one can accurately predict that, the only thing we can say more confidently is if you give yourself a break from engaging in these things for a while, that has a bigger probability to snap you out of this chain. Then you could reconsider everything with a bit of distance. Or how about maybe finding a group - you seem to like talking with a group here. If it turns out you absolutely cannot cope on your own and really need individual therapy, can always go back... it is not a big risk. But this way you may be giving yourself only some superficial, temporary chances IMO, given your therapy history, not just one isolated, unique experience. If you don't have similar problems in everyday relationships, then what's really the point of "working on it" in therapy? Then it seems to bring out and reinforce a (maybe) latent problem that you can actually manage reasonably well in general outside of therapy.

If you really want to keep though though, I think it is definitely the best to choose someone who has demonstrated training and some real interest in attachment and whatever you want to focus on. Dr T didn't really seem to have the qualifications and very much interest, some curiosity yes, but he resisted it because this thing probably just did not click with his interests and therapy philosophy. Maybe someone psychoanalytical - they would be much more likely to prioritize and encourage the kinds of explorations you seem to want to do, and you obviously like to dissect relational things yourself seemingly endlessly.