My mother experienced a manic psychotic break when I was 22. She lived out of town at the time and showed up on my doorstep one day in that state. I tried my best to care for her, but I had no idea how to help her. It continued to escalate until we had to take her to the hospital after several days of zero sleep and no food. The hospital commited her and sent her to a psychiatric facility. I met a pdoc there for the first time. He told me my mother was bipolar and that she would need medication for the rest of her life. He told me she would be unwell and unsafe without it and that she would most likely resist it and relapse over and over. I was so afraid of it happening again and I believed everything the doctor said.

I pleaded with my Mom to take her meds. She kept telling me all she needed was to change her life and she would be better. I refused to believe that and told her over and over that staying on her meds was the only way to keep her safe. She started making life changes anyway. She divorced my father and asked me to let her go and live her life without me. She said I was making her sick and she couldn't have that around her while she healed. I was heartbroken, but I complied.

She never had another episode in the 16 years since the first one. She turned her life around and healed a number of emotional wounds that were causing her great distress. She always followed my life through my brothers but we remained apart. I then had an episode similar to hers last year. It was severely psychotic. The doctors told me I was bipolar and that I would need meds for the rest of my life. I believed them. I also remembered how my mother had changed her life and created a life she could be happy with and thrive within. I got out of the hospital and began the same journey while on my meds. I removed everything that was triggering me. I quit my job. I researched all I could to learn how to manage my emotions and mental health. I worked on my issues in therapy. I ate healthy and stayed away from all substances. I exercised regularly. I practiced self care. I came here to learn from you all.

My doctors and therapists began to question my diagnosis. They did not expect me to thrive after all I experienced. They expected replapse. They expected depression, but it never came. I was able to share that I was well and thriving at each appointment. They couldn't explain it, but told me to keep doing what I was doing because it was working. They kept my meds at a starter dose and told me we were in a watchful waiting mode.

They now call what I went through 'brief reactive psychosis'. I am currently weaning off meds per my doctor's recommendation. I have a life I am happy with and proud of. My withdrawal from meds is going well and I am hopeful I will be detoxed completely in 3 more weeks.

I reached out to my mother a few months ago. I asked her for information about herself and her time when she was sick because I learned my issues could be genetic. We have been in contact ever since. She has been a wonderful support. She spends time with my family now and my children love their Grandma. We have healed so much of what was broken by me only trusting in a pdoc and not listening to her because I was afraid. Pdocs have a difficult job and they help so many people, but they sometimes discount the control patients can have on their lives when they attack their problems head on. They sometimes miss that individuals can be different from the normal patterns they see so often. They make assumptions that sometimes ruin lives and relationships. The doctors have said my mother and I are atypical. I'm happy to be the weird one. I wish I could change so many things in my past. I cannot, but I am doing all In can to build a happy future for my family. I don't need a doctor for that, but I'm happy to have their support as I go along. Maybe they will learn something that helps the next person like me and my mother.