I don't have much to offer here in the way of advice, but I do know that many have gone through what you have and still have great marriages. It is something you guys will grow from and hopefully have a stronger marriage because of it. You guys have a chance to work on your communication and talk about what caused affection to dwindle and then to address that. Perhaps individual therapy is an option for you? And/ Or couple therapy? When peace has been restored your family will appreciate the effort you have put into things. Also, wounds heal over time.. infidelity and separation hurt like hell for a child, but things become easier to understand and come to terms with, with age. This was the case for me.