Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
Hey @astoldbyginger:
I am not sure what other people mean when they say marriage is hard work because I suspect that its subjective. For me, it meant changing and growing together and not apart or separately. I am an alcoholic in recovery and it was an adjustment for my husband to go from walking on egg shells and cleaning up my messes to letting me go to AA and working on myself completely. He knew logically that it was necessary but still would get irritated sometimes when I was heading out to a meeting and our kids all had homework to do. I remember sitting down with him once and telling him that if he wanted stability instead of chaos and liked the honest, accountable, new me then he had to let me do things that helped me get that way. I assured him that I wasnt neglecting him and even suggested he try al-anon. He started therapy. I am a completely different person in a good way and he grew with me. I think a lot of couples come to a cross roads in their relationships for a variety of reasons and change themselves without any thought or concern for how those changes affect the partner. Love means responding. Love is an action word.
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Thanks for sharing @
sarahsweets. I totally get what you mean about things being suggestive. The insight you and others have shared into your own experiences have helped to put things in perspective for me.
"I think a lot of couples come to a cross roads in their relationships for a variety of reasons and change themselves without any thought or concern for how those changes affect the partner." --- Interesting point here as well. The idea of people changing in long term relationships is also something I've thought a lot about, as I am someone who goes through transformations a lot and is constantly evolving. I will need to be mindful of being more considerate about how this might affect a partner.