I don't have any solutions to offer you. But I noticed no one had replied to your post so I thought I would. From my perspective you absolutely deserve to have a life of your own. I realize what a difficult situation this is. You mentioned renting. So perhaps, if you can, at some point you'll simply have to move out & leave your mother to her own devices so to speak. Perhaps try to involve any governmental human services agencies that may provide services your mother qualifies for.

I see you're a 3 year member here on PC. So you may already be familiar with what's in the archives. But, just in case not, here's a link to one of the blogs. Perhaps there will be some articles in it that will be of interest:

Knotted: The Mother-Daughter Relationship

My best wishes to you...