I'm sure many would disagree with me on this, but I seriously doubt any therapist or therapy experience involves keeping the Ts feelings and personal tendencies out of it in very major ways. I personally believe it is more about compatibility (or lack thereof) in those tendencies between the two people - just like in any relationship. You like to include attachment-related things in your therapy a lot and attachment styles... From all I could gather, Dr T may have avoidant streaks, maybe not even a little. That might also explain why he is not so interested in working on that with clients and becomes overwhelmed and resistant quite easily. I think the combination of anxious/preoccupied and dismissive/avoidant people is famously challenging and leads to eventual break down of the relationship (both personal and professional) very often. I can also speak for this from my own personal experiences with various people (I am a bit on the dismissive/avoidant side) and easily react in similar ways to your Dr T when I am pushed and challenged in similar ways. Now much less than when I was younger because I am much more aware of these things, more secure, and actually quite interested in it. But still. The way I see it (with my own bias, I am sure) is that this kind of clashing combo might have played a role in the evolution of your last therapy. Perhaps ex-MC was more a bit like you... So I guess the best match, for you, would be someone really secure - that tendency would also become present in your therapy, but affect it differently. The question is how to foresee that or test for that in interviews and from very superficial, initial contact? I think it is quite difficult... not sure what superhuman, mythical ability would be sufficient for predicting that