Hello CDM: I see this is your second post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

You wrote you'd like to hear from a therapist who could help with insight into fetishes. We here on PC are not able to offer professional advice. Most of us are consumers of mental health services not mental health professionals. Our purpose here is to provide one another with support & to share experiences & information.

I'm not a mental health professional. But my understanding, with regard to fetishes, is they are typically considered to be not harmful & so little psychological study has been done with regard to them. The consensus of opinion seems to be that the best way of dealing with one is to simply indulge it in as safe a manner as possible. There are no cures for fetishes that I am aware of. The primary concern, to the extent there is any, is with regard to the distress (if any) having a fetish has on a person.

It has been only recently, as a result of reading posts here on PC similar to yours, that I have become aware of the ABDL community. I don't know if this is something you're familiar with. (Your use of the phrase "cloth diaper lover" suggests to me that perhaps you are?) You wrote you are not a baby and do not feel the need to act out in a childish manner. Within the ABDL community there are people who identify as adult babies (or "littles"). But there are also people who simply love diapers but do not consider themselves to be littles. And, from what you wrote, it sounds as though this would describe you. So you are clearly far from alone.

You wrote you want to wear cloth diapers but fear there may be something wrong with you for wanting to do so. And, while I'm not a mental health professional, I would like to assure you there's nothing wrong with you. You simply share a predilection (for diapers) that is shared by many people. I don't know if you spend any time on YouTube. But you can find quite an array of videos on the subject there. There are also forum websites dedicated to the ABDL lifestyle.

You also mentioned being afraid of being confronted by family if they discover your love of diapers. And you wondered what to say. Unfortunately I don't think I have any ready answers for that. Of course part of the answer is simply to be careful when & where you wear diapers. That's kind-of related to the idea of indulging your fetish safely. (If you can, you might also consider switching over to disposable adult diapers or even pull-ups when you're going to be around others. Some of these are much easier to keep private than are cloth diapers.) However if despite your best efforts you're caught, perhaps the best way of dealing with it is to simply give a brief answer essentially saying what you wrote in the first 2 sentences of your post & leaving it at that. Then, if the person who has noticed your diaper persists with grilling you about it, tell them matter-of-factly that you don't inquire with regard to their underwear & you'd appreciate it if they would not make it their business to inquire about yours.

Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of fetishes plus links to 3 "Ask the Therapist" columns 2 written by people who were inquiring about wearing diapers in particular:

What's In A Fetish? Maybe Not What You Think

Is Fetishism an Illness? - Ask the Therapist

I Love Wearing Cloth Diapers - Ask the Therapist

Anxiety & Wearing Diapers - Ask the Therapist

So to summarize, from my perspective at least, I think the key here is for you to "simply" (I know it's not really simple but...) come to the realization you are a member of a community of people who share your love of diapers, strive to accept yourself as such, & learn (from others who have been there) how to indulge your love of diapers while maintaining your privacy. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.