Sorry you're hurting LT. I admire you for being open with what's happened/ happening and what your feelings are , but perhaps you can see the patterns emerging from this with the input from other people ( not that everything is your pattern by any means ). I didn't have a good feeling from your T saying you shouldn't talk about this with other T's , things need to be talked about as long as they need to be talked about , even if it's years , I certainly did this and needed this. I was taken by Echos's input on other things overlaying your needs , like people's opinions ( from everywhere ) I've noticed this in my life too , and it's something I've started to look at.