After literally dumping out my emotions into a heap on the T’s office floor. Things started coming out

As many of you know I have had a really rough few months, husband in the hospital , that bloody trip to Florida, a tendon injury that doesn’t seem to want to heal anytime this century. My big Asthma flare that is still lingering.

I realized I have a lot of resentment about it all.

Prior to the trip I told my husband how I just can’t imagine a 4 week long stay in Florida. The way things worked out it wound up being just a couple days over 2 weeks and that had me highly unstable and feeling suicidal.

My T and I both agree that even tho I made it clear how these trips to Florida destabilize me to the point of being suicidal, I had explained this to my husband. He still wanted to spend another week with our friends, but they had family company coming unexpectedly so we were thankfully able to leave early.

I have great resentment that although my husband heard what I was saying he must have figured 3 weeks was better than 4. My husband is a very kind loving person so I honestly think he just doesn’t “ get it”

So we have another freaking trip to make down to Florida at Christmas. Yessss it’s months from now..

My T and I both agree that I need to really talk to him about it, I don’t know what idea he has for the trip length wise at this point.

So common sense says wait and talk closer to then, but can I put it out of my mind and find stability now?

Sorry this was so long, I just can’t seem to condense my problems nor my thoughts.

I’m just not thrilled about things and think of an early exit, just thoughts no plan nor intent at this point.

Oh gawd I’m sick of myself all the way around.