Thread: LT's thread
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Amyjay
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Default Sep 14, 2019 at 05:40 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I know it's pointless to debate with you, but it was more the intensity of his reaction to some things lately. Saying he didn't want to be controlled or micromanaged. Saying he felt trapped. Saying he felt what I said was manipulative. Saying he was frustrated with me. So much of that is about *him* and his feelings. Not like, "Oh I wonder what's going on with LT here, let's examine this." It's "How does it affect me?" (referring to Dr. T). If this was a regular relationship, like a friendship, a marriage, family--certainly, he should be sharing his feelings. But it's not. I've often read that part of what you pay a therapist for, besides their time/expertise, is for them to keep their feelings out of it. (Ex-MC often said I didn't have to worry about his feelings, for example, and would say he felt he did something wrong when I did care. Ex-T would say I didn't need to worry about her. K said similarly.) Otherwise, what is it beyond a paid friendship?
But wait - wasn't it *you* that was always pushing him to tell you about his feelings? Wasn't it you that always wanted him to tell you how he felt about you? Wasn't it you that was always so anxious about needing to know if he cared / if he thought well of you / if he still liked you / if he still accepted you?

Didn't *you* make it all about his feelings all the way through?
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