LT, changing topics—you have a psychiatrist, right? Perhaps she (I think?) might be of help in finding a suitable therapist?

And I think you are on meds—and I am wondering if you might consider an adjustment. A lot of the buildup to this seemed to involve increasingly common spiraling thoughts about Dr. T, sh, si. That might be something a medication change could help with.

You’ve said you’re perimenopausal and hormone changes can certainly counteract meds on which you’re normally stable.