I am sorry for all you are going through, Christina.

I whole-heartedly agree with fern46. I honestly think you will feel better, on many levels, the sooner you are able to share openly with your H.
From all I have ever heard from you, he cares very much about you. I also think he just does not understand.

Our multiple illnesses "situation" in life can be very difficult for others to fully understand, including those who are the closest to us. Sometimes, they are not listening. Sometimes, we may fall short of sharing enough, which certainly was not the case around your recent trip. I know I, too often, try to convice myself , as well as convincing others, that I am okay. I do it often enough that when I mention there is a problem and I am not okay with something, some people just cannot hear it, which is a part of what I was afraid of to begin with.

I know I do, at times, shoot myself in the foot by telling people "no," but then I might still push myself beyond a balanced and a healthy place for me. I do know we strive to not let our loved ones down. I think we have to find a way to negotiate, when there is room for negotiation. There may be times when there is not a lot of room for negotiation, as well.

I do think that your husband is so devoted to you, and you to him, that he will support you once he more fully understands your needs.

I love you!