Thank you everyone for support and much appreciated advice.

A bit of backstory about my husband.

We moved from Florida to Tennessee 15 years ago, he hoped his boys would move up here, but they were 12, 15 and 19 , the youngest two would spend all of summers here and any breaks from school also they loved it but as teenagers they had friends they didn’t want to leave for good, and I get that. I know it broke his heart. My daughter of course lived here, she spend summers and breaks with her dad in Florida

The first 1.5 years steve would go down and spend a week each month , stayed with his dad. Eventually around 13-14 months into these trips the boys just got “ too busy to take time out of the busy social life “ (eyeroll) to spend much time with him, and financially we just couldn’t continue the trips.

When it comes to Steve’s kids he will drop everything and do whatever they need and I get that, I feel the same way about my daughter. But I have come to terms that my daughter is 27 and has a busy life of her own. He just apparently cant wrap his head around it.

Then Steve got his first Grandchild“ Payton” so he struggles a lot by not seeing her all the time, where his ex wife sees her all the time.

But we lived there for 8 months to see if we wanted to move back fulltime. We seldom ever saw them sometimes it was they were all sick and then my husband was in the hospital and very ill. Or they just didn’t want us at there Home apparently??? For an afternoon to hang out with them and Payton. We see Payton more just making trips down as they know we will only have x days.

My T and I know that when it comes to his kids they most often come first and that’s okay my daughter comes first too at times too.

I don’t doubt my husbands love and devotion. He just can’t seem to realize they are grown and simply don’t need us as much anymore.

He had a set of grandparents in Tennessee that growing up they would go visit once a year , he doesn’t want to be a mostly “forgotten grandparent. “ Hell !!!!! his god damn Son didn’t even have Payton who is now 4 years old FaceTime him on “ Grandparents” day.

Moving back to Florida just isn’t possible, the housing cost has us just priced out, we own our home here outright. We are both on SSDI so we have a ridiculously low amount of money monthly to try and make ends meet. Plus the 10 months of hellish heat and humidity would quickly put him on oxygen full time.

I keep telling him he should make more trips down a year, he could go alone and not ask Ryan IF he can stay there just say do you have plans for X dates? Ok I’ll be down I need to stay at your place, I don’t have money for a hotel. Seems like the best solution possible.

We are never offered to stay at there Home they have 3 dogs but dont like our two, but all there other family is constantly dropping there dogs off, yes this infuriates me , our dogs are very well mannered and social , so by him going alone I’ll be home with the dogs

Steve could fly , his son works for American Airlines, so basically free, he would have to take his oxygen concentrator and we arent sure how that works flying. It’s to big as a carry on, but could easily be damaged in regular luggage compartments, it’s of course a rental. They cost 3,000.00 and up to buy one. Least if it breaks down they bring a new one until his is repaired

When we go down , we have no choice but to take the dogs, we can not afford to board them it’s 20.00 per day per dog. We have no family here, and no friends to care for them.

I do need to have the conversation about the Florida Christmas trip sooner rather than later.

I just know initially he’s going to be upset and completely not understand why these trips are so hard for me. so I’ll just tell him I’ll stay home and then a argument is likely to occur and then I just turn it all inward and hate on myself until I literally start making a plan with intent. Then I wind up IP.

This shouldn’t be so F’ing complicated. But it is on many levels.

I can only see my T every 2 weeks unlike every week I did for 7 years, so it’s hard for me to manage that extra week, especially when I’m pretty much a mess.

I’m just so sick of how being out of my routine for more than a week or 2 tops throws me into a hellish mess I have to claw my way out of each time.

I just want to give up , my physical health is just getting worse and worse and I don’t know how to come to terms if nothing can be done to help that part of my life.

My head is so loud I’d like to chop it off to be honest.

Thanks everyone your support means so much