Hi Spikes, I am sorry you are having a rough time. I did some research online and found a good article to read.
I admit, there are some things on that may not apply to you, but after I was done reading it.
I did a couple of them, and I have to say I feel much different than I did before reading the article.
Here is the link below. I wish you better times. I am sending positive vibes your way.

20 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Feel Like Giving Up