Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
You did that with mc at the end too, accusing him of having too loose boundaries. Maybe you are being overly aggressive when you are under the influence, and neither you nor the t is realizing thats what is going on? Then afterwards you rightly innocently disavow, but the damage has been done.
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Honestly for me ( amd I speak only for myself ) my t doing extra things, beyond what hed normally do for a client ( his words) because he "cared" made me elated. I felt so special and like a teachers pet. Every time hed respond to my text at 9pm or spend extra time with me , buy me gifts , everything. It solidified that feeling of being special and needing to be special to him. But with me I always want more and that is my major downfall. I always want more it will never be enough to me. If t moved into my home with me and talked to me every waking moment , I would somehow want MORE. It's the same with drugs with me. Even though I'm good I want more. Push the limit. How far can I go
There is obviously an element of self sabotage and self destruction within that pattern
But when t did something I didnt like , it became a source of resentment and bitterness. You used to do this why not anymore??? Then self blame and hatred. And hatred for T
It's all fine and dandy until something goes sour . Then jts a major source of conflict
When t slowly took the extra stuff away I spent a LONG time in turmoil trying to get them back
I'm glad to say that now it's not as big as an issue for me. And I've come to accept that t has done the right thing here. I am notably less dependent on him and the extras.