Your T is not going to drop you for being honest. I know you are anxious about tge email but just let it be. He will be fine with it.

What I wouldn't do is to continue to email about it or worse yet cancel any sessions. My T always appreciates when I send him one email document explaining ahead of time what is going on in my head. He thanks me for it and we will always discuss at the next session. He addresses it first thing so I don't have to bring it up.

Although you are anxious over the upcoming marriage and state you have a crush on him, you know that is all it can ever be. Try to work on some self care until your next appointment. And try not to email him any more on the subject. I can see where that would get annoying.

Another great option taken from DBT is to work on radical acceptance of the marriage and opposite action. Whether you want it to happen or not, he is going to get married in his real life. Everyone in his life (including and ex-girlfriends he had have to accept that). By using opposite action you can try to find a way to show him you are happy for him. Write down a list of things you could say to him in future sessions. It doesn't have to be a lot. Just things like "I wish you the best with your upcoming marriage" or "I will miss you while you are out of office and I hope you have a great time". The trick is to start with thinking of what you can say or do and keep rolling it over in your
head until you can get to a place where you can actually mean it or at least be comfortable saying it. The goal is for your heart to eventually accept it which will lessen the pain you are feeling now. "Opposite action to your current emotion"

I agree with the other responses. No one here dislikes you. People only get frustrated when they really care about someone and have to sit back and watch them continue to be in pain. If no one cared tgey would not bother to give advice or get frustrated when you share your pain but do not seem to make an attempt at taking any suggestions and continue to repeat the same patterns that keep you stuck and miserable. (I did not say that you are doing this now, it is just an observation from past posts)

We all want yiu to be happy Hope. I have seen sone improvements from you in the last few months. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little more each time. That will help you inituate change. Keep up the good work and try to accept the well meaning responses from others on this site with an open mind.

Take care.