Thank you so much everyone for commenting. Apologies I haven't been back to the thread very much. It's just such a painful issue for me but it does help that others can relate.

Parva - yes I can't look at myself much either and if I do I'm absolutely horrified at how bad I look. I think if I was to draw a picture it would be shocking, but yes perhaps it might be helpful in therapy?

Silverblue - thank you for the suggestion. I don't have much confidence anymore so I'm not sure if I could do acting classes. But I like the idea.