There is a lot I don't remember about my episode. I had to be restrained and carted off in an ambulance. It was really bad and I still struggle to believe it was me that did the things I did. I was in a psychotic manic state and I blacked out for a lot of it. Some of it I can remember when my husband talks about it. Some of it has come back to me in bits and pieces. It feels like someone else's life because it wasn't the real 'me' making any of those decisions.

When I describe how it felt I explain that it felt like I was dreaming when it happened. I didn't think anything through and it was more like I was watching myself in a dream. Most of the memories I have recalled come back to me just after I wake from dreams. Maybe I'm in a similar brain state at that point and can access those hidden memories. That sounds similar to the theory you were given. It actually makes a lot of sense to me.

I know what it feels like to have to earn trust back. I also know how hard it is to stay on track and do what you need to do to get better. Kudos to you for battling your way back. It isn't an easy road.