Sometimes I wish I could write really honest emails in reply to students:

Dear Student Full of BS,

Thank you for your message alerting me to the technical problems with your exam due to the exam proctoring software and asking me to solve them. I am flattered that you believe I know everything.

But as announced twice, once in class and once by email, technical issues need to be turned over to the exam software support people or the university IT services. Perhaps if you attended class you would have registered this information.

Although I am not omniscient, I do know some things. One, you have done none of the daily reading quizzes yet this term. Two, you have not attended class, and attendance is measured by the university's electronic polling system. Three, one of those previous assignments required students to use the same exam proctoring software you are now having trouble with, to ensure that such problems did not surface suddenly the afternoon the exam was due, such as yours. Four, you also haven't done the preliminary activities to the class, without completion of which you cannot even access the exam.

So contact UITS. Or remember that the syllabus--which you have not read or absorbed, since one of those uncompleted preliminary activities is a quiz on the syllabus--allows one exam of the four to drop. So you could concentrate your efforts on being ready for the second exam.

Of course, we both know you will not do that. You will skip the exam, not contact UITS, and continue not to complete course requirements or work out your problem with the exam software, and repeat this whole episode at exam 2 time. But let's pretend, shall we?

With best wishes for your continued avoidance of work and your efforts to manipulate or BS your professors.

Hope that helps,

Professor ATAT