Quite honestly I think anyone who has been a therapist for any length of time or have dealt with BPD or attachment disorders know exactly what they are doing.

T always say they have seen or heard it all befire. I am not a T but I know just reading this site that loose boundaries regarding outside contact can quickly lead to dependency. Then when it is pulled away the client suffers.

Luckily for me I have avoidant attachment and I do mot have BPD traits but I know many who do. I am also lucky that my T has solid boundaries and stresses that it is unethical to allow dependency. If he allowed me to email whenever I wanted or worse yet encoraged it, I can see myself getting caught in the loop as I have seen so many others. Maybe it is because my at specializes in trauma, dissociative disorders and BPD. If he allowed everone to email or call him all the time hecwould not have time for anything else.

Teafruit it is always your therapy and your choice and I am sorry your T led you to this point and then changed the rules. If it were me and I could find the strength to do so I would look for a T that specializes in BPD and holds strict boundaries. I know that is easier said than done once it has been allowed and become a habit but it may be easier to accept from a different T. Also DBT is very helpful for BPD. I have been in DBT classes for 2 years now and it has helped tremendously with my emotional deregulation and distress tolerance.