Your words here are perfect. I understood you completely. I think that we experience something that simply can only be understood by those who have shared similar experiences. I think our loved ones and treatment teams try their best to understand, but they will never be able to fully relate unless they go through losing control of their own minds. We do our best to explain with analogies and metaphor, but the depths of this are something one cannot know until they know, ya know? My mother went through this and I tried really hard to understand and support her. I did all the research. I listened. I had as much empathy as I could. I only truly understood after my own experience.

I agree it is brain damage. I have felt impaired on a number of levels since I had my episode. I am a very positive person though and I am determined not to let this experience take that from me. I've used it to expose my own weaknesses and work on myself. I'm healing emotional wounds and physical issues I was previously neglecting. I'm using it as an opportunity to learn about humility, mercy and grace. I'm here trying to give back and be supportive of others who are in the middle of their own Hell. You seem to be doing a lot of the same things. That's really amazing. So yeah, we experienced Hell on Earth, but we are also bringing Heaven into the mix every time we fight back. We are a little damaged and then stronger in so many wonderful ways. Don't lose sight of that!