It is ok to be confused, to me it shows you have a strong independent mind, and prefer to be a pragmatist, (IMO) which is what I consider myself, a " confused pragmatist ".

For those that my not know the definition of pragmatic:> Testing the validity of " ALL " concepts by their practical results.

Just keep searching and testing, when you get tier'd and need to take a break to unwind, and gain some support , you know where to go