Thank you guys so much for your responses. I feel connected with the words that you chose. There are many things I wish I could type out, but my hands and brain just wont work together. Its something I have dealt with for a long time. I used to be able to type really fast and to get things out. But they are just stuck.

I am not good at replying to each and every one of you, but that is because I have been so anti social for so long that it seems out of character to do so.
So I just went ahead and hugged and thanked all of you I have been reading about what different brains look like from scans. It's really interesting to see what a bipolar brain, depressed brain, ADHD brain look like. Just use google, filter it by images and type in bipolar brain. You will see what I am talking about.

Thanks again guys, it really does mean a lot to me that I am not being ignored. I know how it feels.

/hugs