Quote:
Originally Posted by BipolarWolf
Wow, what a reply...
I had to read that a few times also because it made me cry.
I don't think that anyone has ever put things in that perspective, with as much thought and wording all at once to me. Over the years I have been in therapy and being medicated, I have picked those things up during that time.
I apologize to anyone that may have been offended by my post. As I mentioned before it is very difficult for me to actually type a long reply to something, my brain and hands do not work that well together and it takes me a long time to get things out.
Now, Fern... I want to thank you for putting things in the light that you did, as I read I could tell that there was caring, empathy, love in your reply. You did an excellent job replying to me. Thank you for that. It means more than you know. Sometimes, we need to hear things that may sting, even if they are true and a source of pain for us.
I will give it some thought and maybe consider talking to someone. I want to talk to my doctor and read this post to him, see what he thinks. Because I know that mentally I would not be able to word things as you did. It will help me. I see him tomorrow so that will give me some time to digest this some more before then.
I loved my ex more than life itself and would have walked thru fire for her and then some. I committed myself to her whole heartedly but that was not good enough for her to stay with me. It's painful to even write about it now as I type this, even though, I am where I am today without her. It's something I never experienced like that and I do not want to ever go thru that again.
I have worked very hard to get where I am today, even though my life is not ideal today, it Is much better than it was after the downward spiral that that ordeal sent me into. It was the closest to death that I have ever been.
I am here today, for support and to find myself with like minded people who have like illnesses as myself to reach out and to find some kind of normal thinking.
It will be an interesting appointment tomorrow, my doctor has always advocated me getting into some type of socialization other than my two parrots, my son, and my mom and her hubby. I have hope and I can see things differently today than when I first joined PC not too long ago. The support here is great. Thank you so much for caring enough to reply.
/hug |
Sorry to make you cry, but sometimes it can be therapeutic. I'm happy to have helped.
I am staying home with my children now, but I spent a lot of time professionally working with teams and individuals. I was often called in to assist them when they were stuck or needed change in some way. I found that sometimes people need to hear from someone who is like them or someone who is in the same place they are. It can be incredibly helpful to know you're not alone. I felt like maybe that was your intent when you wrote your initial post. However, it is my experience that people often need to hear from someone who is in a much different place than they are. They need someone with enough empathy to meet them where they are, but then they need to be shown a new perspective. They need to see that other places exist. Its like meeting someone with a map to a place you've never been before or have forgotten the directions to. I felt like you've been stuck in the same place so long that maybe you just needed to see the map again. You've been happy in a relationship before. It is not beyond you. You just forgot the way. Now you're starting to look at the other place and wonder if you'd like to travel there again. That's change!
I also think BirdDancer gave you some great advice. There are all kinds of women out there. It may take trial and error, but you can find a match who views love the way you do. I also agree with her that the excitement will come at the right time when you have something to be excited about. Try not to worry too much about that part. Cross that bridge when you get there.
Good luck at your appointment with your doctor tomorrow. I think it is exciting you're considering a fresh perspective. Hit us up if you need to talk any of it through before you go. This is a great group of people with a wealth of knowledge, experience and empathy to offer. I'm glad to have you around.