Yeah. I attribute it to not knowing what i really want. To my parents always deflecting me away from stuff. "Just do what WE say now, and you can do what YOU want later!" I fell for it every darn time. No wonder my parents thought i was an idiot.

Everything always sounds good at first. But there is really no "me" present to make a considered decision.

Like, im a minor hoarder. They have a scale of 1 to 4 or 5, and im still like a 2. Theres no pet poop, and i sleep in my bed. But there is no place for a me to really rest, or create from, or launch from. Its like im scattered all over the place, mentally and physically.