I'm sorry you are experiencing so much abandonment & feeling so lost. Hopefully being here on PC can be of at least some comfort & support.  Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, that offer suggestions for what to do when you feel lost plus 1 on the subject of building & keeping a circle of friends:
When You Feel Lost
When You Feel Lost or Disconnected from Yourself
Feeling Lost in Life: A Learning Opportunity
Feeling Lost? How to Find Yourself and Get Back on Track | Change Your Mind, Change Your Life
Building and Keeping a Circle of Friends
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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