You may want to talk about this asap with your therapist and/or psychiatrist, Miguel'smom. I have to be honest and say that "still not out of my psychosis" and "have access to sharp object" sort of (or rather extremely) scares me about what you wrote. Would or should I take such a trip under such circumstances? No!

I found myself being taken by my employer to a hospital when I was living in Taiwan. Then I quit the job and wandered around Asia by myself (getting robbed and sleeping with guys). That was not good! Once my husband took me to Maine and he almost took me to a hospital there. Not good! Once I was manic and psychotic on our way back to the US from Portugal. I scared my husband to death because he didn't think we'd be allowed on the plane because I had been ranting about a woman giving me a pen with anthrax on it. We managed to get on, but my poor hubby cried for a little while in flight. Then I made a scene at Newark International Airport with my rants. I had to have an emergency appointment at my psychiatrist's office the next day upon return. If he hadn't taken me so quickly, I would have been in the hospital. Even in Portugal I was having problems. I scared the hell out of a housekeeper in Porto. She didn't even speak any English, but was comforting me because I was screaming in terror. Meanwhile, my husband was getting ice downstairs because I had injured my ankle being careless and violent. I have a history of accidents when manic. Not so much deliberate self-harm, but falls, tripping, punching/kicking things, and more, because of fury and ramminess, etc. During one trip in Prague, I decided to run down a steep hill (in anger). I fell really hard and had swollen legs, hands, scrapes, and a black eye. I didn't even really feel much pain. During my Asian extravaganza manic trip, I almost jumped off the bridge over the River Kwai. in Kanchanaburi, Thaland. Not because I was suicidal, but because I thought it would be fun. The people I was with convinced me not to.