I haven’t been feeling “right” mentally/emotionally for about 3 weeks now. I feel like I am dangling over the edge of a breakdown. I am not Sui. Where I live the ER only regulates meds for extreme cases and deals with Sui. If you are not addicted, super manic, actively psychotic or Sui they tell you to find a T. I have talked to T about this but not in a way he seems to be understanding even though I know we are both trying. I wanted to talk about it last session and he misinterpreted my communication attempts... long story short I triggered badly and to use his word “wigged out” on him over the next 24hrs. He was short with me in our last communication which is totally unlike him but I can totally see where he could be quite tired of this by now and just needing a break. Pdoc believes it is not a meds issue but something to be addressed with T. I am highly volatile which isn’t like me and can’t stop crying when nothing is wrong. T wants me to learn more grounding techniques. I went through CBT and am using them so I am doubtful. I am also trying to do self care as my anxiety allows.
I don’t know where to turn. Should I call T and see if he can fit me in? H has offered to take me to the ER but agrees they are not likely to do anything. I have not lost interest in the things I enjoy and when I have the energy I am very motivated to be cleaning and reorganizing my house so I don’t think it is depression. Pdoc says this is not how depression usually looks with me. Do I just cry it out until Monday? Is it possible that I AM using the grounding stuff and am not as dissociative as I usually am and am having to deal with reality?