My wife has done this a few times to me. I talk about something I plan on doing, and she asks "is your therapist okay with that?" I really feel undermined- it's like she is telling me "you're not capable of making this decision on your own" or even worse "you're probably wrong, so you better make sure your therapist thinks it's okay".

It's a pretty heavy blow to my confidence.

I should also add that the times it has happened, my therapist did know (before I mentioned it to my wife)- and my therapist supported my decision- and didn't even think to question me about it.

But what if it was something that I wanted to do, and my therapist disagreed? Should I tell my wife? Ignore the question?