So I only slept 3 hrs last night. I woke up feeling fake, plastic, empty. I keep checking for a pulse so not to self harm. I’m isolating because I don’t exactly feel “here”. I keep thinking I can disappear without consequence. I know all of this is untrue. I want to get up and walk out the door but to go where? I told my husband I feel plastic. I wish I had real words to explain. I feel like I did when I thought I was his imaginary friend but disconnected from him too this time. I’m questioning whether I should go IP. I know this won’t last forever. I have to volunteer Monday. I think I’m safe. It doesn’t help that I still have the sensation of bugs still just not as bad. Same with my loud head. I’m waiting for bed I’m taking an ambien PRN tonight.