I think you are right Riptide, because my T was all ready to "go there" but when he saw that I was kinda resisting, and when I told him I am not functioning well, he backed off. He knows that normally I don't resist unless I need to. Normally I will take the bull by the horns, but I couldn't right now.

But he listened to me and that is important. So we talked a lot about important stuff but not traumatic stuff or I should say less traumatic stuff. I think we made incredible progress over the last month and the week of my spring break I went in 3x to see him. But now I am slowing it down some.

My doc prescibed my Prozac 2x a day 20mg instead of only once a day. I hope it kicks in soon. I have also decided to take the summer off from my college, I am only 39 and I will finish soon enough. I need to take care of me first so I can be a good mother, and take care of things at home. Everything is so disorganized, you can sometimes tell how someone is mentally doing by looking at the inside of their house. You can easily tell I am depressed. Even my husband can tell by looking at my facial expressions, I am not doing well.

This is the most depressed I think I have ever felt. I physically ache and I just want to sleep. I need to find myself again. I am so sad right now, but I still have hope. With my T and my family doctor, and the support from this great community, I can get through this. I have learned you just can't will it away or "just get over it".
My Doc. said sometimes you have to just accept what is and do something about it even if you don't know the reason. But I am sure my T could think of at least 10 reasons. But it finally has caught up to me.