i wish i had friends. i wish i could make friends. im so lonely it feels like a gaping hole in my chest that gets more and more painful every day. anxiety ruined my life since the beginning and ive never been able to fix it, i dont think i'll ever be able to fix it. it feels impossible, it feels too late. i never learned how to talk to people because ive avoided it my whole life, how am i supposed to learn now? and how am i supposed to be encouraged to keep trying and keep progressing when im ignored and unliked by people over and over again? no matter what i do? i dont know what im doing wrong. maybe my brain is right and i really am stupid, and everyone can see it plain as day. it doesnt feel worth it to try with people anymore, the same thing always happens. but i dont know any other way to make this pain stop. i just want friends, i just want happiness, i just wanna stop being so alone.