Reading your post made me think of the movie "My big fat Greek Wedding". The father in this movie was also very stubborn but FINALLY came around. Similar issue, cultural differences and how the father wanted her to marry someone who was Greek. You should think about sitting and watching that movie with your boyfriend and maybe even having your parents watch it.

I can understand why your boyfriend was so upset though, no one likes to be treated the way your father treated him. My own father tended to be the same way. My husband never really felt comfortable around my parents, tended to be quiet and just went to my family functions to be nice but never really felt at home with my family. I am sure your boyfriend doesn't want to feel how your father made him feel despite his trying to make it a point to be friendly and brave.