Thank you for sharing your grief. (I recall replying to your introductory post.) Here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of grief & loss that (hopefully) may be of some help. Included is a link to a grief & loss quiz. The first link is to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. that provides links to additional articles on the subject:

Coping with Grief | Psych Central

On Grief, Loss and Coping

Thoughts on Memories, Grief and Loss

5 Creative Ideas for Keeping Your Loved One's Memory Alive

Complicated Grief: How to Get Unstuck | Bonding Time

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/grief-quiz/

My best wishes to you...