HI chels127!

Welcome to the Bipolar Forum at PC!

I do understand the desire to have a final diagnosis so you can accept it and can move forward accordingly. Many of us wait years for the most accurate diagnosis.

The fact that you are 44 years old and have never before had a manic episode does not mean much when it comes to Bipolar illness. Many people have their first episode later in life. Women, especially, can have psychiatric changes as they approach/go through the hormonal changes of peri-menopause and menopause.

As for whether or not the use of marijuana had caused, or had contributed, to your psychosis, it is impossible to know this for sure. Some will argue that the mj had caused the psychosis; yet, how can anyone know for sure? It is possible you'd had a proclivity for BP and the use of the high THC had kindled this proclivity. Yet, this cannot be known for sure, either.

I have seen people admitted to IP, supposedly in a severe psychosis due to mj dusted with PCP. As these patients had cleared up from the exposure to PCP, they'd had an underlying mood disorder. It had turned out they were self-medicating with mj and with mj dusted with PCP in order to alleviate their distress related to their psychiatric illness. The mj and the PCP had caused additional symptoms and difficulties; yet, did not cause their underlying illness(es).

I know a doctor who is very bright. She has 5 siblings who are also extremely bright and are also incredibly successful in politics, scientific research, etc. All 5 of her siblings experienced BP I or BPII in their 40's for the first time. She suspects they have been triggered by use of mj. She is the only sibling who does not smoke mj. Again, even if the mj has triggered the illness(es), it did not cause the illness(es) and omitting the mj has no t cured them. This story has no scientific basis; it is just her observations and her own reasoning based upon what she knows about her siblings, about BP, about the use of mj, etc.

I live with BP II.. I had used mj for pain. I had vaped. I did this for about 6 months and had some very potent strains. I did not become psychotic. I cannot assume I would never become psychotic. I stopped not because of any mental health reason; I had stopped because vaping did not help with pain. (I am in a legal state.)

I know you'd like some clear answers. Again, the truth is: There are not certain answers at this time. The use of mj clouds the ability to come to a clear/certain diagnosis at this time.

You mention you have only experienced depression earlier in your life. This is true of many people diagnosed with BP.

I also want to point out the fact that your episode was in May. It is not unusual for practitioners to take longer than you have waited (to date) to observe further in order to reach the diagnosis which is closest to the truth for their client.

It seems like your practitioners are telling you that you have either a BP I or a BP II diagnosis? I imagine they will sort this out relatively soon.

Should you become labeled with either diagnosis, these are "spectrum" disorders and there is no guarantee that your experience of either version of BP will be just like anyone else"s experience.

How do you feel the delay in exact diagnosis is holding you back?

We all do whatever we can manage to do, despite the label given to us.
I believe you can move forward in your life by doing the same. Do not let any diagnosis define you and/or dictate anything in your life. Always "move forward" in life in whatever way is manageable for you.

Again, welcome!
I hope to see you around!