I think alot of people can relate to how both of you feel.

As for me, sometimes I think I have myself "pegged" but then something new arises and it just seems to overwhelm the mind.

I know I can't be all bad, but I feel that way alot. I hate myself, though alot of people depend on me and I know THEY love me, I feel stupid but am really pretty smart (I.Q. 136) I think I'm too emotionally based sometimes and instead of using my brain, I go with my emotions, which is good but sometimes makes me look like a complete idiot! I'm scatterbrained one minute and then can give an hour long speech on a subject that interests me.

I have emotional disconnections that I go through. I feel myself dissociate and it's like I can't stop it, but it's always around the same people. I can be in a really great mood and then run into the mother and then it's the bottom of the pit for me..for no other reason than being around her makes me feel terrible. Maybe I have a personality disorder.

And...needless to say, I ramble alot

take care