Hey, welcome to PC. I've been praying too and can't seem to feel that feeling that people talk about. Could it be that we're not really ready to let go and trust God with our lives yet? Still thinking we can handle it? I'm not sure but like you, somethings gotta change. I/ we, can't keep going like this. It's mentally exhausting.

And like you, I just don't know what to believe anymore. I'd rather crawl into a hole and be left alone till I can sort things out but......

Anyway, you're not alone. Wish I had some answers for you but I ain't got any for myself yet. I just keep spinning and thinking and thinking and spinning and......

Best of luck though. Drop me a PM if you wanna. Maybe we can help each other?