I'm sorry you are struggling with these difficult memories.  Here are links to 2 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of flashbacks that (hopefully) can be of some help:
Why Do Flashbacks Happen? | After Trauma
Coping with Flashbacks
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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